hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
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She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
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What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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