We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize