just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
