Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
