Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
