hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
