I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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