brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My friends, they love my intelligence
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
