so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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