a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
