my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
