non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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