Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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