Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
please come you make the beer taste better
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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