My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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