I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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