This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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