is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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