so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I am naked and annoyed.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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