One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
