im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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