y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
