Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
