jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
