So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize