i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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