My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Do vagina's smell?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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