Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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