its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
