I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
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