she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he puts the penis in happiness.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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