you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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