you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
