..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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