It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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