would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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