Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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