apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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