what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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