He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
