why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
