so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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