Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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