Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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