i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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