need another drink. this is the easiest way
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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