yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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