Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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