isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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