I'm really into asian looking animals
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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