Little spoons don't ask big questions
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
