She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
