I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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