Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
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