ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
