i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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