well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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