dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
