She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
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We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
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I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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