i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Acid is not a monday night drug
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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