I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
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I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
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Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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