its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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