Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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