Don't make out with my wife yet
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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