I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
