Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
