I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
