I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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