just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
