he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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